last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
