I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
