I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
