I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Just puked most of my soul out..
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
