Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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