Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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