a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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