it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
