O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
