You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
