Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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