If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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