this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I'm really busy with my period
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