Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
