Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
