I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
