Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
