yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
