I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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