You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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