Duck Duck Cougar?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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