I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
