I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
