I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Swine flu is the new snow day.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
