we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
We are two peas in an std pod
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
