I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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