I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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