just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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