I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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