ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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