She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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