Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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