And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
