I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
