So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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