No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
