fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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