But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
