Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize
