I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
