I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
