Quick, to the slutcave!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
