Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
