so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
