i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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