Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
