You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Green mimosas i think yes
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Randomize