I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
