around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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