Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
