well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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