Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
