You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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