guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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