Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
