you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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